Two thousand years ago, the Apostle Paul offered instructions for the Christian family in his letter to the Colossians: “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Col. 3:18–20).
I ask myself whether these words of Paul are still relevant today. A modern woman hardly considers it her duty to submit to her husband. In a country where perhaps half of all marriages end in separation, it seems unlikely that the husband truly loves his wife—or the wife her husband. Increasing evidence shows that men—and perhaps women too—abuse and assault their partners. In today’s society, children often neither obey nor even respect their parents. We live in an age of broken families, lacking in love and tenderness. Psychotherapy is flourishing. Individualism and the “me first” mindset dominate our society, at least in the West and in many other industrialized nations.
My conclusion is that the Christian family, as envisioned by Paul, has largely lost its place in today’s world. Instead of living as a Christian family, people exist in a chaotic mix of selfish, narcissistic, and hedonistic values. In many cases, people prefer pets—dogs or cats—over having children. Children are often seen merely as burdens to be carried for a lifetime. Society as a whole has become increasingly anti-child—not only in the West but also globally, in countries like China, Japan, and South Korea. People live for themselves, not for one another. Children and marriage are perceived as obstacles to individual “happiness.” Happiness has become individualized.
The Christian value system, however, is entirely different. Paul exhorts: “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. Conduct yourselves wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time” (Col. 4:2, 5).
A Christian is called to live in constant communication with God through prayer—often silent prayer—on the way to work or school, during free time, in all places. One should be aware of one’s actions and give thanks for what has been received: health, work, good friends, a kind and faithful spouse, and children. One should not behave arbitrarily in relation to others. And above all, one must cherish the most valuable gift we have—our time on earth. Our existence has a beginning and an end. It is all we have, and we must use it well.
Today, the self—“I”—is at the center of everything. My needs, my will, my happiness, and my satisfaction are what matter. The vulnerable—children, the unemployed, migrants, the elderly and sick, the poor—have been pushed out of the circle of community. They are seen as burdens and time thieves, as hindrances to our personal happiness. Instead, we identify with the young, the beautiful, and the successful—those who bring material gain or value in the workplace, and especially those who consume more and more.
Christianity is not this. Christianity is the faith of the weak and the marginalized. It emerged under persecution from those in power, and especially under the spirit of martyrdom. The early Christians endured because they lived a truly Christian life—in Jesus Christ. They lived their Christian identity and faith in the context of the Christian family and through fraternal love toward one another, toward strangers, and toward foreigners. They were courageous in their faith. They were willing to die for it—for their love of the Son of God, Jesus Christ.
Today’s society is increasingly less Christian. Believing Christians must now seek out other Christian families and groups in order to live their faith authentically. In today’s society, there is little understanding for believing Christians and their values. Many people even boast that they are not baptized and do not believe in God.
Life in Christ is not a return to conservatism. A Christian seeks a return to the foundational values of Christianity and the voluntary demands they place on each of us. Faith is lived out in love for one another—above all within the family, in compassion for the weak in society, and for those who may have lost hope for the future.
Just as in Roman times, we live today under the threat of war, environmental catastrophe, misunderstanding, and rising secularism. We grow anxious and perhaps fearful of the future. We seek immediate comfort and escape through increasing consumption, entertainment, travel to exotic places—and not least, through substances. We trust each other less and less, even within the family. We must put a stop to these thoughts, to the anxiety and restlessness in our own lives. Those who live in Jesus Christ truly have no need to be afraid. As Christ himself said—and as many popes have repeated—“Do not be afraid” (Matt. 10:31).
We are not without hope. We are not alone. A Catholic bishop once spoke words of encouragement to modern people. In difficult times, it is wise to reach again for the Bible, to sit in stillness and read selected passages. The Bible is rich in human experience. It contains almost everything a person may go through in life. It offers comfort—and hope for the future.
Jan-Peter Paul
- A shortened version (in Swedish) was broadcast in YLE’s “Andrum” program on 19 May 2025.
- The author’s interview published in Arbetarbladet is available on our website.